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the-bumper-car
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Old Dragon
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2007 |
| Posts: 577 |
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:06 pm Post subject: Talk to Jesus! (Or other strangers) |
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dark_axis
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Eternal Elan
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| Joined: 02 Jan 2007 |
| Posts: 1898 |
| Location: 666th Layer of Hell |
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 6:34 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, that was a bit weird. Jesus FTW!
_________________
Only by confronting your darkest fears can you find the light...
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the-bumper-car
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Old Dragon
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2007 |
| Posts: 577 |
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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This is going to be my go-to time waster in between waiting for adventures on D&D: Tiny Adventures. 
_________________
Currently Running: NOTHING
Currently Playing: The World Ends With You, Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo Tales, Picross
D&D Home Page - What Class Are You? - Build A Character - D&D Compendium
Can I be the Avenger of Atheism? |
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Xtian
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Goderator
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| Joined: 30 Nov 2006 |
| Posts: 3259 |
| Location: Avernus |
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Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 11:53 am Post subject: |
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Acid Blue
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Old Dragon
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| Joined: 06 Mar 2007 |
| Posts: 415 |
| Location: Somewhere out there... |
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Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 5:44 pm Post subject: |
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That was ... um... interesting...
_________________
let M = number of ninja and N = Ninjitsu Level, then N takes the general form of N = a/(bM)^c |
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dark_axis
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Eternal Elan
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| Joined: 02 Jan 2007 |
| Posts: 1898 |
| Location: 666th Layer of Hell |
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 2:37 am Post subject: |
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This is so cool in many ways. I can manipulate people with lies and make them obey to what I say to them. I can't wait to find an emo here.
_________________
Only by confronting your darkest fears can you find the light...
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the-bumper-car
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Old Dragon
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2007 |
| Posts: 577 |
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 4:26 am Post subject: |
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princessa
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Goddess
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| Joined: 30 Nov 2006 |
| Posts: 1118 |
| Location: denial |
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:54 pm Post subject: |
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princessa
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Goddess
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| Joined: 30 Nov 2006 |
| Posts: 1118 |
| Location: denial |
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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the-bumper-car
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Old Dragon
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2007 |
| Posts: 577 |
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 3:16 pm Post subject: |
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dark_axis
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Eternal Elan
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| Joined: 02 Jan 2007 |
| Posts: 1898 |
| Location: 666th Layer of Hell |
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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This site is perv central. I can only get a couple of laughs out of this site.
_________________
Only by confronting your darkest fears can you find the light...
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princessa
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Goddess
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| Joined: 30 Nov 2006 |
| Posts: 1118 |
| Location: denial |
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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the-bumper-car
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Old Dragon
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2007 |
| Posts: 577 |
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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dark_axis
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Eternal Elan
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| Joined: 02 Jan 2007 |
| Posts: 1898 |
| Location: 666th Layer of Hell |
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:24 pm Post subject: |
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Hehehehehehehe I enjoyed this one.
You: I'm on a mission.
Stranger: HOW a YOU ?
You: I have to inform at least 5000 people that the world will end by 2015
You: and it's kinda hard
You: would you like to help me
You: ???
Stranger: ?
Stranger: no 2015
You: a biological attack is gona wipe out the human race
Stranger: CAN I HELP YO U ?
You: it's a virus that was just discovered
You: the virus drains the blood out of those who are afflited
Stranger: You're kidding
You: The virus was discovered recently in Africa
You: it has been tested on one of the villages and it was wiped out in fifteen minutes
Stranger: oh my god
You: I'm one of the developersof the virus
You: and I'm currently in danger
You: please help me just in case something happens to me
You: I haven't developed the vaccine yet
Stranger: have a great evening
You: but if you're willing to help me I'll send the formula to you just in case
You: no wait help me please
You: You don't want this to happen in your country don't you?
Stranger: YE
You: I've tested the vaccine on monkeys
You: and I'm still not able to make it work
You: they do develop a resistance but die eventually
You: do you know a microbiologist by the way
Stranger: Then what is the best way? Where you come from
You: Humanity is gonna be extinct
You: I'm holed up in one of the facilities in Uganda
Stranger: 那我们还是用母语吧，hello
You: I used this medium so that they won't have a trace
You: The americans are responsible for developing this virus
Stranger: o
You: the recession has put them to their wit's end
Stranger: why ?
Stranger: O
You: and they plan to rid the earth of everyone
You: if nothing chages in the current recession
You: they plan to use it as a bargaining chip
You: but whose going to elieve them
You: *believe them
You: so they will just spread it
You: They say the first target would be beijing
Stranger: Can not
You: what would be the greatest example but the city with the largest population
Stranger: o
You: plus it's the only country that can oppose them
Stranger: India's most populous
You: they just killed one of the russian scientist last night
Stranger: hehe
You: he tried to escape with a copy of the virus structure
You: COME ON!!!!
You: HELP ME!!!!!
Stranger: hehe
You: I'M NOT JOKING!!!!!
Stranger: no
Stranger: 我英文不好啊
You: YOU WILL REGRET THIS BY 2015!!!!
Stranger: ok
You: YOU'LL WISH YOU SHOULD HAVE HELPED ME WHEN EVERY HOLE IN YOUR BODY STARTS TO BLEED!!!
Stranger: Is a happy day! Thank you,
You: they plan to release it via fireworks
You: on new year's eve
You: of 2015
You: My name is Sanata Kenji
Stranger: Enough, the end of your joke
You: I'm a microbiologist from the polytechnic university of tokyo
Stranger: O
You: Please I'm begging you
You: I'm not joking
You: Why won't peole believe me
You: *people
You: there's got to be a way to stop this
You: help me
You: please
Stranger: Why do I believe you said
You: because mankind is in the verge of extinction
Stranger: NO
You: the virus is worst than HIV
You: it's much effective than anthrax
You: plus it can be spread through the air
You: please tell your friends
You: tell your family
You: tell everyone
Stranger: This terrible virus, should be to prevent it! But that I have not the ability
You: but you can tell your government
Stranger: OK
You: I've tried to inform my government but they found out
Stranger: 88
You: and they cut off one of my ears
You: I don't know how long am I gonna last here
Stranger: You notice more people you go
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
_________________
Only by confronting your darkest fears can you find the light...
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dark_axis
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Eternal Elan
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| Joined: 02 Jan 2007 |
| Posts: 1898 |
| Location: 666th Layer of Hell |
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:30 pm Post subject: |
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I call this one the ketchup incident:
Stranger: hi
You: I had an accident
You: I accidentally put ketchup on my fries
Stranger: i accidently the hole bottle
You: fries don't go with ketchup
You: it should go with peanut butter
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or save this log or send us feedback.
_________________
Only by confronting your darkest fears can you find the light...
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dark_axis
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Eternal Elan
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| Joined: 02 Jan 2007 |
| Posts: 1898 |
| Location: 666th Layer of Hell |
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:35 pm Post subject: |
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This is fun:
You: Hi Earthling!!!
Stranger: Hey
You: Take me to your leader
Stranger: Who Obama :consored: him
You: Obama is not your leader, he's one of us
You: He's a martian
Stranger: Ha like oil Wayne
You: Take me to your leader, infidel
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
_________________
Only by confronting your darkest fears can you find the light...
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dark_axis
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Eternal Elan
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| Joined: 02 Jan 2007 |
| Posts: 1898 |
| Location: 666th Layer of Hell |
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:43 pm Post subject: |
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This is how you derail someones trip:
Stranger: sonn i be walkin down da hood won day win lyk dis hoe be gettin all up in ma grizzle sayin i be her baybee daddy & i be lyk laquandra i aint yobbys paw son i took out my pimp hand n batted her in her mouth she try playin me lyk a fiddle but i lyk fiddle stix & crumpets w/ bizkits I HATE WHITE PEOPLE dont be h8in on me bruh i love squirrels sonn my grillz be so icey n blinging my chain so heavy that my neck dont like me me love you long time spicy penis pills I LYK LIL WAYNE do da stanky leg!!!
whats wrong dale did u forget to take ur peptid ac today and dont forget u have that big business meeting tommorow with sherley and wayne i hope u can sleep now with that on ur mind bc remember last meeting with them when henrietta and charlette completely embarrassed u when the broke wind in the lobby in front of all the storm troppers and then debbie from the wild thornberrys came wearing a yuk yuks t shirt and i said hey rnt u donald grimm and she said no actually im nathan hart
You: could you pass me the ketchup?
Stranger: yea
Stranger: 
You: now hand me the salt please
You: and also the letus if you don't mind
Stranger: aww we only have pepper 
Stranger: here the letus
You: oww pepper that would be better
Stranger: here the peper too ;P
Stranger: pepper*
You: and also those sliced tomatoes please
Stranger: u sure?
You: yup
You: very sure
Stranger: we hav pickles
Stranger: here tomatoes
You: yeah that would also be fine
Stranger: here yeah go theres the pickles
You: do have chees by the way?
You: *cheese
Stranger: ummm.....
Stranger: yeah! 
Stranger: pepper jack , american cheddar
Stranger: swiss
You: american cheddar would do
Stranger: there yeah go
You: and lastly please hand me over that patty
Stranger: here
Stranger: no meat?
You: Oh, good thinking
Stranger: 10:41 pm
Stranger: wp
You: and that's how you make a hamburger
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or save this log or send us feedback.
_________________
Only by confronting your darkest fears can you find the light...
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dark_axis
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Eternal Elan
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| Joined: 02 Jan 2007 |
| Posts: 1898 |
| Location: 666th Layer of Hell |
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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I call this "Batman's broke":
Stranger: hi~
You: Hey, can I tell you a secret?
Stranger: of course
Stranger: what's that about?
You: I'm actually batman
Stranger: admire~
You: I need a new side kick
Stranger: so?
Stranger: where are you now?
You: In the batcave,duh?
Stranger: who are you gonna save?
You: Nothing up recently
You: damn the recession
Stranger: so you are actually, resting?
You: joker's gone broke
Stranger: there whould be another joker
You: two face bet his penny in a slot machine but he didn't win
You: poison ivy's in the hospital
Stranger: don't you have any clue?
You: she suddely had an allergic attack because of her flowers
You: *suddenly
Stranger: o that's old story
Stranger: do you have something new
You: alfred also quit his
You: job
You: he says he can't afford to have a minimum wage job
Stranger: so what do you think of the president?
You: I told him what the hell
You: it's recession
You: I can't afford to give him a raise
Stranger: so you just walk away?
Stranger: that's not batman
You: I can't even afford to fill up the bat mobile's gas tank
Stranger: so you bankrupt?
Stranger: what a pity
You: Bruce Industries stocks went down the drain
Stranger: so there would be no bat man any more
You: Well, I think I could sell some batarangs for $5 a pop
Stranger: so you call me for help?
Stranger: should i help you?
You: are you interested in buying one?
You: I had the batmobile auctioned in ebay if you're interested
Stranger: what's that batarang thing?
You: it's my boomerang shaped like a bat
You: Oh, I get it you're not one of my fans
Stranger: i can't afford a brand new bat mobile
You: It's not brand new
Connection imploded.
_________________
Only by confronting your darkest fears can you find the light...
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BJ
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He Who Founds Wyrmlings
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| Joined: 04 Dec 2006 |
| Posts: 3997 |
| Location: Sa sikmura ng Bakunawa |
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 2:26 pm Post subject: Mod LITE |
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I am generally light on consecutive posts, but I must tell you to avoid posting on the same thread five times in the span of an hour, except if someone else has posted a reply first.
You can always edit your previous post to add something new to the discussion, if no one else has replied.
EDIT: And of course, if no one else has posted after about twelve hours since you last posted, you can of course post a new one. |
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dark_axis
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Eternal Elan
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| Joined: 02 Jan 2007 |
| Posts: 1898 |
| Location: 666th Layer of Hell |
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 2:30 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry, will do. They were spur of the moment's posts. 
_________________
Only by confronting your darkest fears can you find the light...
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Xtian
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Goderator
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| Joined: 30 Nov 2006 |
| Posts: 3259 |
| Location: Avernus |
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Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 6:15 am Post subject: |
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Revan
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Sith'ari, Chosen Heart of the Force
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| Joined: 04 Dec 2006 |
| Posts: 1552 |
| Location: Korriban |
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Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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God, yes, this is fun when the other guy wants to join in on the trolling.
Southern Monkey-Wrestling Federation
| Quote: | Stranger: hallo
You: Hello, anyone out there?
You: Yo.
Stranger: Waarvan over u zijn?
You: Ah, sorry, english-speaker. What language was that?
Stranger: dutch
Stranger: im jurgen
Stranger: von smurgen
Stranger: where you from?
You: Ah. Some hick island in the Pacific.
Stranger: fiji?
Stranger: or hawii
Stranger: ?
You: lol. Bigger. Group of islands actually. Philippines. Land of call-center slaves and overseas workers.
Stranger: my dad is half philippino
You: interesting.
You: So, what do you do?
Stranger: my granddad was the best philipino monkey wrestler of his generation
You: Haha. Yeah, we got some real nasty monkeys down here in Olongapo.
You: Which is why the monkey-eating eagle is the national bird, I guess. Beats having bald eagles. :p
Stranger: olongapo?!?!? i have relatives there
You: He wrestled monkeys, you say? Fascinating? Southern Monkey Wrestling Federation? Or Visayan Monkey-Slappers United? VMSU was all wussy back in the day, my dad says. You can't really punch them, only slap them around with open hand strikes. Real wussy.
Stranger: smwf
Stranger: his ring name was the killer from manila
You: Now SMWF, that was the real :consored:, he said. No holds-barred MMA-like style, and all 20 years before the UFC, Pride, and K1. God, too bad I missed it.
You: Wow!
You: No way?
Stranger: yes way
Stranger: so how does the donkey penis taste?
You: The Killah from Manila? He was the :consored:! Power slamming the Mang Makak to the music of three organ grinders! Oh, not so bad, if you cook it right.
Stranger: ok,
Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
My default response to cybersex trolls:
| Quote: | Stranger: hi
You: hello.
Stranger: boy or girl?
You: The consciousness is beyond such labels as gender.
You: The consciousness feels pity for less evolved energy-forms, but consents to hobnob with them.
You: What gender shall the consciousness refer to you as?
Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
Elephant Show
| Quote: |
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello.
Stranger: hello
You: Please tell me you're not looking for cybersex. The past five strangers have all been bugging me for asl. Bloody wankers.
You: So what's up?
Stranger: no need for sex
Stranger: all ok here
Stranger: and there
You: Cool. All cool. So how's it hanging on your end, stranger?
Stranger: pretty relaxed
Stranger: and how 'bout there
Stranger: guess you're from UK
You: oh, all good. So, how long are we going to trade ambigous chit-chat before we find a funny topic to troll?
You: Nah, not UK.
You: I just ended up watching too many Brit shows, and it rubbed off.
Stranger: no :consored: chit chat, that's for pussies
Stranger: throw me a topic
Stranger: heheheh, good erason too
Stranger: what music are you in
You: Uhmm...Filipino monkey wrestling?
You: Oh.
You: Soundtracks, unfortunately.
Stranger: yeah, let's go for that
Stranger: or ultimately dragon trippin while you're on LSD
You: Nice orchestral :consored:, without any words to speak off. Not like a lot of musicians have a lot to say these days.
Stranger: all political crap
You: Dragon tripping? eh? Damn, sounds cool.
Stranger: or 9/11
You: So how would you go about tripping a dragon?
You: I imagine you'd need something really kick-ass huge to trip one of those suckers up.
Stranger: just sit on the yellow bastards back and enjoy the ride
You: Whoo. Never tried that before. My cousin tried that on a Komodo while he was in Indonesia, but the damn thing bit his thumb off.
Stranger: the're too aggressive
Stranger: and the won't do tricks
You: Almost took most of his hand off while it was at it, but they managed to sew it back together.
Stranger: lazy they are
You: Tricks?
You: cool. What did you train your dragon to do?
Stranger: yeah man, jump through a burning wheel or something like that
Stranger: he brings me my shoes
Stranger: or when I kiss him, it's turning into a blonde chick
Stranger: it's really a good one
You: Eh, but then the shoes would be all chewed up and crispy. Flaming breath and all that.
Stranger: he can hold his stinky breath
Stranger: not a long way to crawl
Stranger: or green elephants dancing in green tutu's
You: Whoo. Damn fine dragon. Shape-shifter, eh? Well, dragons will bang anything, that's what they say. I hear tell the Chinese myths actually had a half-dragon half-tree in there somewhere.
Stranger: tháts sweet too
Stranger: the chinese lie
You: Call me a traditionalist, but I prefer pink tutus.
Stranger: all of them
Stranger: green is better
Stranger: more exotic
You: But it blends too much into the dark greys, no contrast! It's got no class, no elan.
Stranger: if they shake to elephant tits. mmmmmmmmm
Stranger: you need to have black light ofcourse
Stranger: otherwise it won't make any sense
You: mmm...elephant tits. Ah well, that just might work, you know.
Stranger: brings you to the better level
Stranger: feels like being a god
You: Ah black light. I'll have to recommend that to my cousin in Olongapo. They're setting up some sorta elephant show for some randy tourists. All above board of course, and the elephants are all of certified legal age.
Stranger: shitting is nice also
Stranger: underaged elephants ... mmmmmmmm
Stranger: sort of like, well, forbidden imagination
Stranger: i líke it
You: Personally, that's a bit more of a meh, for me, mainly because I've seen what my roomate has to clean up when they do their exotic show.
Stranger: could be a mess indeed
Stranger: but hey, that's what life's all about
Stranger: shitting
You: Shame on you! All of our elephant lasses are of good moral character and have given no cause for scandal! Not like those filthy little child-peddlers down south. Under-age elephants...the abomination makes me gag.
Stranger: without :consored: mankind would be damn unhappy if you tell me
Stranger: dude, gotta go
You: Well of course, then it'd all just clog up in our guts and we'd just bloat of, and then explode in a shower of feces.
You: nice talking to you.
Stranger: space ship is waiting
Stranger: have a good fluffy trip
You: You still use ships?
Stranger: ciaooooooo
You: pfft. Matter trans is the way.
You: ciao
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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_________________
Words are the only bullets in truth's bandolier. And poets are the snipers.
-George Wu (The Hyperion Cantos, Dan Simmons) |
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Acid Blue
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Old Dragon
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| Joined: 06 Mar 2007 |
| Posts: 415 |
| Location: Somewhere out there... |
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Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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Stranger: hi
You: Howdy
Stranger: BOMB AMERICA
Stranger: im from irac
Stranger: i like to bomb people
You: do you used thermite or just plain gunpowder
Your conversational partner has disconnected
_________________
let M = number of ninja and N = Ninjitsu Level, then N takes the general form of N = a/(bM)^c |
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